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Saturday, January 1, 2011

Baby it's Cold Outside

20 inches fell on my house. 

Welcome in the new decade and au revoir and good riddance to the last. To my readers on the Northeastern Shores, permit me to apologize. When I posted my previous blog, Let it (gasp!) Snow, it was not my intention to cause enough snow for an entire season to plop down upon us in one fell swoop.  Whoever is in charge of this, if you are reading my blog, up there or wherever you are, please don’t take my words so literally; a dusting, a lovely slender white blanket would have been sufficient. 

That said, the advantages of having a-stuck-at-home snowstorms are several. First, I had the chance to spend a ridiculous amount of time and money on iTunes and the Sony Music site.  Music is much too important to ignore. It’s a curious thing, selecting which songs and artists to focus on, which to preview, and which tunes are really critical to add to my repertoire.  I added over 75 songs but it hardly seems like enough. 

For my own listening pleasure, I added some John Legend, Beatles (!) and yes; I’ll admit it, some Glee renditions. Don’t hate me because I like Glee. I’m a Gleek. First, because I know every single song they sing on this show from today and yesterday. Music and especially their lyrics were always a passion of mine. In my next life, I’m coming back as a show tune lyricist. I’ve even written several potential Pop Culture ditties over the years.

This first sampling comes from an idea I have – 
Steve Jobs: The Musical

“Why do all computers only come in White?”

Why do all computers only come in white,
Doesn’t Apple understand my decorator’s plight? 
I’ve got Ivory in my living room 
and Ecru in the den --
White’s just too restrictive-- coordinating them.
My kitchen keeps it’s kitsch ware,
with my stove in Harvest Gold. 
How can I access Cooks dot com 
without my laptop there?  

Or my bow to the scandals that make Hollywood entitled – 

“Moguls on Moguls”
That's pronounced LAWN-JAY

It’s the latest, Hollywood, place to be 
On the slopes of the Rockies --- playing Jean-Claude Killy –
For it’s all of the things, that Hollywood, craves --
The fashion, the powder, even Claudine Longet*
Who high on the white stuff, blew her boyfriend away
For these Moguls -- on Moguls
Compete in a sport 
In which box office tallies – 
are what they report. 

*Actress/Singer Claudine Longet shot and accidently 
killed boyfriend  “Spider” Sabich in Aspen back in 1976. 
Google it for the alleged details.  

I have others as well – but I’ll save them for another blog. 

Back to Glee -- Second, the singers on Glee have great voices, many from the world of Broadway. I also think that while the characters are pretty one dimensional, Sue and Brittany have some of the funniest lines on TV. 

As a girl from New Jersey, music from the Garden State is one of the best things about it. For years I lived with the --“ Oh yeah?  What exit?” punch line  -- as in you live in New Jersey what exit? I never particularly took offense at this throwaway line because the pragmatic side of me knew that in fact, both the Turnpike and The Garden State Parkway stretch in large measure, from stem to stern, the bulk of the state.   The exit numbers indicated from either of these roadways does indeed provide a not imprecise indication of where in the state you may be heading or leaving. 

Further, if all the jokes gave the impression that New Jersey was a state full of highways and industrialized hotspots – so much the better for the rest of us who understood the gentle rolling hills and greener pastures that lay beyond. Stay away then and leave the good parts to us. 

But the Jersey-as-joke material cooled down significantly with the rise of the magnificent Springsteen.  Surely he embodied that all could not be wrong in this much-maligned state. The plaintive voice of this workingman’s travails with his ironed blue collar possessed a diction, intelligence and sound of the poet that has never been needed so much as now. I will even throw in Bon Jovi who while not (IMHO) in the same artistic league as Bruce, was the world’s top-earning concert act last year. He made half of his $200 million in ticket revenue from shows outside North America. Just another fine example of why music provides another perspective on us kids from Joisey.  

I say this as I move into harangue mode, this time directed at those who have chosen to ridicule my fellow inhabitants with shows like Jerseylicious, The Jersey Shore, and Housewives from New Jersey. The New Years stunt with little Pumpkin Spice, aka Snookie, in the hamster ball did not help things either. These tanning booth and big hair bimbos on parade are not real to me.  As a resident of this state for over 45 years I can honestly say that I don’t personally know anyone who resembles anyone in any way, shape, or form close to the characters on these shows.  They are completely foreign and exotic creatures to me.

Of course, the other thing to consider is that one of the most highbrow shows on television, the cerebral, yet stylish and violent Boardwalk Empire, takes place in New Jersey as well, albeit at another time.   It may not show my fellow Jerseyans in the best light, but it sure shows them in the best lighting.

So Ha ha ha, to all the naysayers. New Jersey rocks!  Stop picking on us and get that garbage off the air. 

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1 comment:

  1. Hey There CJ!

    Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving the sweetest comment on "Starting a Blog 101", I really appreciate it!

    You led me back here and YES...your blog is fantastic and very funny...I love your spirit :)

    I hope the snow has now disappeared, your funds are growing again and all is back to normal ;)

    So nice meeting you~